Goodbye for now

One of my favourite songs that I used to listen to a lot, especially when I was younger, was ‘Goodbye for now’ by P.O.D. One line from the lyrics that always gets my attention says: “The hardest part of holding on is letting go”.

 We could talk for ages about the subject of holding on and letting go as it is a quite big topic. A whole book could be written about it and I’m sure we all have different opinions and stands on the matter. However, I would like to focus only on a few points relating them to what I have personally experienced.

 As a princess, people always think I’ve got it all together. I must admit my personality also contributes to this misjudgement as I can be very assertive and blunt. But like my sister always says: “If they could only spend 24 hrs with you…THEY WILL BE COMPLETELY SHOCKED!” at which we always burst in laughter.

 To the surprise of many people if they knew this, I can be VERY EMOTIONAL AND SENSITIVE. I can cry very easily and I can sometimes take what people say and do very deeply even when it is not that deep! I personally think this is a good thing as it is part of the original design that God had in mind when He made me. This side of me gives me the ability to empathise with others and really relate to them on a deeper level. However, the flip side of the coin is a situation where I can sometimes blow circumstances, people’s actions and words out of proportions and turn them more serious than they were meant to be.

 So bearing this in mind, you can understand that I am very much in touch with my emotions and thus, I like to hold on unto things.

 One day, I sat down, looked around me and I realized how miserable I was. The reason was that Prince Beau was in the neighbourhood at that point in time. I  realised I was miserable because I did what a lot us girls do: just wishing and dreaming. “I wish  he noticed me” “I wish he would talk to me” “I wish he knew how amazing and perfect I was for him” and so forth followed by a lot of looooong sighs.

 IT’S PATHETIC!!! WHAT KIND OF LIFE IS THIS??!!! IT’S JUST SO PATHETIC! Sometimes in those moments I look at myself from the outside and just say: “you’re so embarrassing! Pick yourself up and stop being a looser! All those women did not burn their bras early in the century for you to sit there and moan over a boy like this!” (DISCLAIMER: this approach is not for everyone but it works for me!)

 Eventually, after a lot of these therapy sessions with myself I got to the point where my feelings for Prince Beau had to be buried. Honestly, they had to die. The situation got so crazy where I got to the point where I saw in competition with everyone who was ‘tryna steal my man’! hah hah aah!! CAN YOU IMAGINE?!

 It ALWAYS baffles me how guys have the power to determine our mood and our emotions from the highest highs to the lowest lows. THAT IS NOT THE LIFE!

 The thing is, they don’t have that power as the truth is we give it to them. We give it to them the moment they become our priority. The moment they become all we think about. The moment they become all we talk about. The moment they ‘make our day’ with a text message, a call or a smile that probably is not even that much of a big deal. The moment they take a position in our hearts that wasn’t designed for them. And for me, my epiphany came the moment God had to fight with them for the seat of my heart and for my full attention.

 So I’ve decided to take each moment as it comes, without forcing and just seeing how things go.

 Life has an interesting way of making things happen when we least expect it.

 The most beautiful things happen naturally, when we have no control over them. In that way, we are taken by surprise and we really do appreciate  those moments that come as presents. And for those moments, we are grateful.

 If you are like me, always in a rush in making things happen, take your feet off the accelerator and enjoy the present. Princesses don’t sweat it cos they know, in the end, they are and will be blessed with the finest things.

Enjoy your week and remember: you are royalty.

Xxx Princess Leona xxX