It’s all about timing

I was on the phone yesterday to a friend as I have not spoken to her in a really long time. And we were talking about relationships. We are both Black African girls and we were discussing on the stereotypes that that normally define us: “You are too confident” “You’re too aggressive” “You’re intimidating”. These are all comments that ultimately, attack and undermine someone’s personality rather than their behavior or one’s personal perception of the individual.

She was telling me how she finally landed a really good job only by God’s grace after 9 months of frustration. The little sadness that clouded that moment of joy was that she wished she could celebrate with someone she loved and she was in a relationship with. From there, the conversation went downward through a spiral of “is there something wrong with me?” “maybe I need to tone my character down a bit”. To which I replied: “And then what? You going to keep a toned down version of yourself forever? Of course you know that is IMPOSSIBLE!”.

I truly do believe, as I have learnt from personal experience, that it is good to show your personality bits by bits so that will intrigue the person that gets to know you instead of them having to deal with ALL of you, ALL at once. And this is particularly true with strong personalities. However, this does not mean that you pretend to be someone else for the sake of being with or around someone. You still have to be YOURSELF and be comfortable with the other person, as that's when they truly get to know you.

Ultimately, everything in life is about timing. Timing regulates when we receive our presents and blessings in life. I am a Christian and I do believe that God makes everything happen at the right time as timing is in His hands but either way, life has a way of making things work out just when they ought to. If they happened too early we might not be able to handle them as we might not be PREPARED enough to be responsible for them. Whether it’s a baby, a partner, an object or an achievement, if it comes too early, the blessing that we so much desire can turn into a curse. As a fruit picked prematurely, what was supposed to be a blessing will taste sour and bitter.

If we don’t get to understand that everything in life is about right timing we will start blaming ourselves, other people or circumstances for the things that we don’t have. This will create a vicious cycle of moaning and lamenting without actually making anything positive happen.

“What do I do while I wait?” you may ask: accepting that life is about perfect timing is not an excuse to PASSIVELY WAIT for things to happen. It’s about being active by taking care of yourself, by becoming better every day and by preparing yourself to be able to receive whatever you are wishing for in future. If it is a baby, preparing yourself by reading, talking to people and actually getting some real hands on experience with other people’s babies. If it is a partner, you enhance and improve all sorts of skills like cooking, learn how to drive or discover how to do different things as you now have the time to.

As a princess, I am a perfectionist and honestly speaking, I don’t normally see things half full. But writing has helped me to see that life is really exciting and when you see beauty in everything around you, it makes it so much more enjoyable and worth fighting for.

Discover something new every day and write it down. It doesn’t have to be a long journal entry but even a little note in your diary or planner. Writing it down will show you how blessed you really are.

One afternoon I was fretting about a certain issue to one of my closest friends. What she said to me that day will remain with me forever: "Don't be anxious. Don't get furstrated because you are not getting what you want. Wait for the mango to mature. It is not ripe yet".

I encourage you with the same.

Don’t stop believing.

x Princess Leona x